CELL NOTES 22/6/09

ICE BREAKER

Who has been a very good “team captain” that you have known?

THEME

Community is worth fighting for : conflict

Reading ; John 17 : 20 – 26

SERMON OUTLINE

1) In Jesus’ final prayer before His arrest He makes a passionate prayer for unity amongst all believers.

2) Why is this Jesus’ desire for us? v23. unity shows the world that it is loved by God, and that the Father sent Jesus.

3) How may disunity, or conflict, show itself?  It is found everywhere. One e.g. is the Corinthian church, as it will be in any church in some form. Tackling, rather than avoiding or accepting it is what will bring us nearer to Jesus’  plan for unity.

4) Conflict is one evidence of the spiritual battle. The more that the Lord does good things in our midst, the more we may expect Satan to try and stir up conflict. Discussion of reordering the church building may be a ripe opportunity for this!!

5) What should we do about it?  See Mat 18 : 15, We will always have a choice as to how to respond to conflict – it can be very hard to make the right choice.

6)  Conflict usually leads to the breakdown of relationships. Easy to avoid, put up with it, or persuade ourselves that it is not important. There is a far better way :-

• Admit it has happened, and face it
• Take the initiative (whether you feel you are at fault, or on the receiving end) to build bridges
• Relationships are worth fighting for.  

                  (story of Steve’s brother)

• Get it in the open – avoid temptation of wallowing in self-pity. Timing may be important (don’t go in first flush of upset or anger)
• Don’t gossip or whinge to others – do it yourself with the other party (only ask for another to assist in most extreme circumstances)
• Approach somebody else as you would like to be approached. Venting anger is only likely to increase anger levels.
• The last 10% of what you want to say is key – it’s usually what’s really on your heart, even if it is the hardest part to say.
• Aim at reconciliation.

QUESTIONS OF APPLICATION

1)  Read the passage and the Matthew verse. What hits you most? What did God say to you on Sunday?

2) Where or when have been caught up in conflict? How do you generally react?

Avoidance / simmering resentment / self-justification/ taking the blame / storming off/something else?

3) Where or when have you experienced real closeness and unity? How has this affected you and others?

4) Have you ever been involved in , or observed others succeeding in, resolving a conflict?

5) How may you live out Eph 4 ; 3. How does being a disciple of Jesus affect the way you handle conflict (Be honest!)?